People think bridal party, and they think fun, and party time! When in reality it’s time, money, and responsibility. It’s time to change the idea of bridal party and how you pick it! Choosing a bridal party is serious and may take a long time to pick if you’re really considering the duties they must fulfill. I spoke briefly about this in an earlier post entitled engagement bliss but felt it needed to be explored more.
We get so excited as brides or grooms thinking about how fun it will be having our buds on the wedding day and while that is good to contemplate… remembering these people you choose for the wedding party represent you as a couple and need to support the love you enjoy with your significant other will help you make a sound decision.
If you feel pressured to include someone out of tradition or obligation you may make a choice that will haunt you. While it’s nice to try to include these ones, it should not be the final decision. You want to remember, this should be a group you really want to have around you all day at your wedding and forever in wedding pictures. This group not only will be remembered forever but will have many responsibilities in your planning and during the wedding event. Ask yourself…
- Can I see appreciating this person in my wedding pictures in 5 years?
- Will they still be an important part of my life?
- Can I picture them helping out with plans throughout the wedding process?
- Do they have the time and money to dedicate to my wedding?
- Do they process responsibility well?
- Will they uplift the wedding event or bring it down with their behavior?
After answering these questions about each bridal party member, is the answer no? If so, can you endure the wedding process with that person not giving 100% in those categories? Again, this is not a decision that should be made lightly or by what others expect. Because in the end, what you choose will effect the goings on of your big day!
Don’t keep the pressure on yourselves. Take time to write down what you expect from each member of the family and bridal party. When announcing to each candidate, clearly state your expectations, in a kind but tactful way and give them a choice to participate. This gives them a way out if the feel they cannot meet the requirements while still getting your wishes across.
Once you know the requirements for your bridal party and who qualify, it’s time to enjoy the ride. Have fun when asking! Get them a gift or make it more ceremonial if you’re a planner. Surprise them with a cake that asks, “will you be my…. Grooms men, maid of honor and etc.” The more planning you put into asking each person… The more lasting memories you will enjoy with them! But very important, clearly state verbally AND in written form your requirements and allow them time to accept or decline the offer. Remember, this gives them a way out if they cannot perform the needed tasks. Also it alleviates a lot of frustration and/or stress in the long run.
Once you make your choice whether it’s big party or a small party, that is your choice and be proud of it! Don’t second guess the choice you made as a couple but embrace it. Thanks for reading today! Follow this page on the bottom left corner to get emails about new posts and follow me on social media @twocentsbridal.